Six Degrees
by Black Alnair
Summary: She used to think that love was not worth the sacrifice but Morgana learns that it is everything. Mergana. Some Angst. COMPLETE.


**A/N**: Title is from The Script's "Six Degrees of Separation". It doesn't follow the song but the general concept is here. (And if you've never seen The Script perform this live, I highly recommend it!)

* * *

She used to think that love was not worth the sacrifice. That freedom and independence were worth more than anything in the Five Kingdoms. Love would have chained her down. It would have forced her to give up too much for what was impossible. So she flew, deep into the Darkling Woods, away from everyone and everything she knew. She didn't even say goodbye.

* * *

She once saw him across a river. He was as big-eared and gawky as she remembered.

"Morgana!" He stumbled into the river, his eyes bright and wide in delight as he stared at her.

Her heart hammered hard against her chest - how could she have forgotten how much she loved him?

"You're coming back?" he asked, hopeful.

And she closed her heart again, shook her head slowly and walked away, leaving him.

* * *

She couldn't absorb the news at first. It sounded as impossible as a King's ward running away to live in a forest. So why should the news of a princess giving up her crown, her lands, _everything_ to marry a manservant render her speechless? And it wasn't as though he was a manservant anymore, she had heard he was now Royal Advisor and Court Sorcerer. Just because she had been unwilling to give up everything for him didn't mean that another wasn't.

* * *

She saved _her _by accident. She happened to be in the right place at the right time.

She was helping her up – she had been roughly thrown to the ground by the bandits – when Merlin barreled around the corner.

Her name was on his lips. He paused for a moment when he saw the two before running to Elena and gathering her into his arms.

She made her leave, going down by the river, but he followed her. She couldn't help but tell him it wouldn't work.

"I love her," he protested. "That's all that counts."

"As much as you love me?" she snapped.

He looked at her with slow measure. "You mean, as much as the younger me loved a different you? I can't answer that but I love her as much as I can."

She can't say it didn't hurt but she made her choices, believed in them.

"It's not like you would come back now, would you?"

"And it's not like you would ever leave Arthur."

His eyes flashed with anger but he did not raise his voice, just pursed his lips. "I have a duty to him, a duty to the kingdom and a duty to all the others in that kingdom that I love. You just have a duty to yourself. There's no room in you to love me."

Elena came by the river then. She looked between the two as though she knew. "Do you need to a moment?"

"No," Merlin said emphatically as he stepped out of the water. "We are done."

He took Elena's hand and walked away.

* * *

It didn't seem right for him to be carrying a blonde haired child but she had given up the right to say what was fit for him a long time ago. She sealed her fate – _their_ fate – when she failed to return, even after she had heard of his engagement to Princess Elena, even after she had run into them.

She approached him for once.

"And who is this darling?" she cooed. It was the only right thing to say.

Merlin beamed. She missed his smiles. But it wasn't for her, it was for his little princess.

* * *

She used to think that love was not worth the sacrifice. That freedom and independence were worth more than anything in the Five Kingdoms. Love would have chained her down. It would have forced her to give up too much for what was impossible. She had run.

She had accomplished much while away, perfected her craft, gained important allies, but she had lived a cold existence by herself with her carefully guarded heart beating alone in the night. It hadn't been so hard when she was running.

But she had run for years, thinking that she would find everything if she kept on going. She now realizes that she had been too afraid to make the leap of faith, too selfish to give into someone else. She wanted, wanted, wanted but she had not been willing to give herself away.

She arrived in Camelot six months after Elena's untimely death. She had been sorry to hear it – she had hurt him enough for a lifetime, she hadn't wanted more hurt for him. That was love, wasn't it? Wanting him to be happy. Even if she wasn't.

"I want to come back….I mean, I am back." She couldn't quite look him in the eye. "I just want to be here. For you." They were different people now, he had loved another and loves his daughter by her, but she still knew she loved him. She didn't expect much and she would stay regardless but she did hope… "Perhaps one day you will have room in your heart for me again?"

He leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss on her lips. "Morgana, thank you for giving up so much for me."

"No, no," she protested, with her lips against his still. "I am getting everything now."


End file.
